The MSI Claw: A €300 Paperweight for the Modern Nostalgic

We’ve all been there. It’s 2 AM, you’re doom-scrolling through Amazon Warehouse Deals, and suddenly, the algorithm whispers a sweet, sweet lie: an MSI Claw for just over €300.

Now, for those who don’t know, what exactly is an MSI Claw? tl;dr: It's a Steam Deck that decided to go through a rebellious "Intel Phase" while running Windows. In a world where everyone knows that for handhelds AMD is king, buying an Intel-based console is the tech equivalent of ordering a salad at a steakhouse. But hey, it was 50% off. My inner cheapskate screamed "YES," while my old Core2Quad still rocking a GTX 750, which was the absolute peak of my financial possibilities back in the day-wept in the corner, finally sensing that its long-overdue replacement had arrived.

A few days later, the package arrives. Let's be honest: in photos and YouTube reviews, these things look sleek. In reality? The MSI Claw has the ergonomics of a high-end wireless router and the aesthetic appeal of a parking ticket on your windshield.

It is ugly. Really ugly. And please, let's stop lying to ourselves about "portability." People who call these devices portable clearly never owned a Gameboy Advance or even a simple PSP. Either their concept of portability is "anything I can lift without a crane," or they’ve forgotten that this beast literally weighs more than my actual laptop. Carrying it around is a lifestyle choice involving heavy-duty backpacks and potential spinal surgery.

I turned it on, hoping for a bargain but fearing a Warehouse scam. Oh là là: the previous owner's Microsoft Account was still there, staring back at me. Impossible to boot the recovery partition. It needed a full Windows reinstallation from scratch.

Now, I’m an old-school PC guy, so it was fine, but considering the average Amazon shopper, I’m willing to bet 60% of them wouldn't know how to get past that screen. I want to thank that previous owner; they probably tested the device for five days, got frustrated, and sent it back without a wipe causing me 30 minutes of extra work but saving me a massive 50% on the price tag. I’ll take that trade any day.

Let's talk about the brain of this thing. MSI decided to go with the Intel Core Ultra. On paper, it’s a marvel of engineering. In practice, it’s a device that tries to solve a math problem while simultaneously attempting to reach the temperature of the sun.

When those fans kick in, it doesn't sound like a gaming console; it sounds like a Cessna 172 taking off from my lap. I’m convinced that if I held it at the right angle, I could actually hover. And the battery life? It’s a race. A thrilling, high-stakes race between the game’s loading screen and the "10% Battery Remaining" warning. I’ve had more meaningful relationships that lasted longer than the MSI Claw’s battery during a session of Cyberpunk 2077.

So, how does it actually play? It’s basically a laptop crammed into a giant console body. It’s heavy, it’s clunky, but oh boy, it runs games. This is where the irony hits hard: I am a "turbo-nostalgic." My gaming era basically froze at the Xbox One generation.

My original Xbox One is still connected under my TV, and I swear it’s staring at me right now, screaming "vendetta." Over the years, between physical and digital, I’ve accumulated hundreds of games on that platform… and I’ve played exactly zero of them. Not "hardly any," I mean literally none.

Most of this digital mountain was built back in 2020 when, by some divine mistake, €25 Microsoft Credit Cards were being sold for €5. I ended up with thousands of euros in credit for about a hundred bucks. My library is a monument to my own greed and my complete lack of free time.

On the MSI Claw, I’ve actually started and finished campaigns.

To my absolute shock, this chunky handheld runs all of them with incredible fluidity. I know, I know when you grow up, your perception of time changes. I’m literally playing games that are 5 to 15 years old. Years ago, I wasn't surprised when my Core2Quad ran Need for Speed: Most Wanted like a champ, but now, seeing these titles on a "handheld," I’m acting like I’ve seen a magic trick.

We need to address the software. MSI Center M is like that one guest at a party who tries way too hard to be cool but ends up just standing in the kitchen explaining how blockchain works. It tries to be a "launcher," but Windows 11 keeps peeking through the curtains like a landlord checking if you’ve smuggled a pet into the apartment.

Every time I want to play, I have to navigate a labyrinth of updates: Windows updates, MSI updates, Intel driver updates, and Steam updates. By the time the game actually starts, I’m usually too tired to play and just go to bed. It’s the perfect device for people who love maintenance more than gameplay.

If you told my teenage self that one day I’d own a device that could play triple-A titles on the go, connect to a TV, and sync with a professional controller, I would have done anything-legal or otherwise to get it. Back then, that was the ultimate dream.

But the attempt to "avenge" my younger, broke self was as fleeting as a gust of wind. The reality is that this MSI Claw is destined for the Drawer of Doom. It will live there, nestled between a tangled mess of micro-USB cables and a 2nd-gen Kindle, coming out for maybe ten minutes of nostalgia per month, followed by a tiny, silent tear for my lost youth.

I now have two very important things to discuss with my therapist: how to stop chasing the ghosts of my past through tech, and how to avoid spending money on useless hardware ever again. For €300, it was a cheap session of retail therapy. But the Xbox One under the TV? It's still watching. It still wants its revenge.